How to teach patience to our children?
Being patient doesn’t mean waiting and doing nothing. Being patient helps us pause and get our thoughts in order and our feelings under control.
Expecting to wait in most places like doctor’s offices, line up at the register, or receive something that you’ve wanted for a very long time is common sense and not a big deal for adults. But once you have a toddler, the story changes. Like many other skills, patience needs to be learned early on to be beneficial in our lives. Our toddlers don’t understand patience and delayed gratification unless taught and shown to them.
There are several strategies that can help guide our children towards learning how to be patient. Once we get to work and start practicing these strategies, it is essential to know that one method that might work well for a child might not work well for your child. Our focus should be to find what works for our children and utilize those techniques to help them manage situations that require patience.
Roni Leiderman, Ph.D., associate dean of the Mailman Segal Institute for Early Childhood Studies at Nova Southeastern University, says that “it’s helpful for you to observe your child and understand that for some kids, waiting comes easily, while for others it’s complicated.”
Read on if you are interested in learning about these techniques.
Be Patient.
We’ve heard this many times; children are like sponges; they absorb everything they see from their parents. We must model the behaviour that we wish to see in our children. Our children must see us practicing patience; however, at times, it might be super challenging to be collected and calm with all the unexpected delays and obstacles. But observing us and seeing our patience will more likely make them patient.
Have Empathy; take them seriously.
This is important to know that waiting is difficult for our children. So same as any other challenging time, when our child starts complaining about waiting, it is recommended to get to their level and acknowledge their feelings. Encourage them to talk and find a solution together to make the waiting easier.
Have realistic expectations.
Having realistic expectations is the number one rule for teaching any skill to our children. It’s not the right time to practice patience when our children are overtired, hungry, etc.
Use positive reinforcement.
Stay away from Bribing but close to Encouragement and Positive Reinforcement. Patience is a skill. Encourage your child when they are patient. If we say to our children that they can have ice cream if they complete a task, that may send them a counterproductive message. By doing this, we make them expect something in return every time they wait patiently for something.
Do some physical activities.
Next time you’re waiting for someone or in a line, suggest some goofy movements to your toddler. Things like hopping like a bunny, swaying like a tree in the wind, waving our arms like birds, etc. We are helping them get distracted and burn off some energy by doing this.
Make “waiting for” a game.
A game like “Your Turn, My Turn” is a great way to get your little one used to waiting for increasingly more extended periods.
If you already know that you'll have to wait a while, colouring books or small hobbies that are of interest to children will be beneficial.
Sometimes it might be best to ask our child to come up with some suggestions on the games. This gives them a sense of control and shifts their attention away from the waiting. “It looks like we’ll be here a little bit longer; what would you like to do? We can read a book or sing a song. What do you think?”
Give two or three options, and allow your child to decide.
Stick to the schedule.
Instead of constantly telling the child the time, showing the time using the clock is better. Another way is to explain time using tasks and situations. For example, instead of saying, "Dinner is ready in 15 minutes," say, "We'll have dinner when the yam is ready."
Games that can help with teaching patience.
Explaining never replaces experimenting. Most learning happens when your child takes action and experiences it.
Following are some suggestions on the games that can help us teach patience to our children.
Open packages
Put the package in several boxes and ask your child to open the boxes in turn. This excitingly teaches the child patience.
Fishing
Fishing is an activity that requires a lot of patience. If you do not want to harm the fish in the process, you can use the net instead of the hook and then release the trapped fish.
Solve puzzles
Choose a big puzzle to keep your child entertained for a while. Doing puzzles helps our children learn to be patient.
Play the game of silence.
Silence is an essential part of patience. Turn on the timer and ask the children to sit still as much as possible. Whoever does this for a more extended time wins.
Be creative
If you have to wait with your children, be creative. Ask them to tell you a story, but have them complete each other’s sentences. This will be a fun experiment and encourage their patience and creativity.
Patience is a virtue essential throughout our lives. If it’s learned early on, it will help our children be successful individuals in their lives.
To understand which games are the most effective way to teach patience, you must first understand the cause of the child's disability and restlessness. Does your child find it difficult to take turns? Does your child become frustrated with new things? Does your child become frustrated with the puzzle?
Knowing what motivates children is key to helping them learn patience. For example, if your child gets frustrated when trying new things, you can explain how to do it very smoothly.
I’d love to hear from you if you have a specific game that you find helpful in showing and teaching patience or if you have any comments or suggestions on the techniques.
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